Stuff I want for Xmas but am too old for.

At first I was going to title this: Stuff I’d want because I’m a 14 year old boy. But some of it is girly. Some of it is for little kids. I don’t know. I guess this is just, shit I want because I’m an old, geeky lady who likes toys and stuff.

In no particular order:

1. Plush Microbes. OMG, who doesn’t want H1N1 or Herpes for Xmas?

How cute are these? The pink snake is Syphilis, sooo huggable!

2. I want a Kinect. Real, real bad. What is it? It’s like a wii with no controls. I like technology. I like flailing. It’s a prefect match really. 

Those are specially trained XBoxers. You and I will look like complete idiots using this machine.  Who cares, it’s going to be awesome. Also, my sister is  getting one too. We plan on boxing each other via the internet.  I think this is going to  save a lot of marriages and end some sibling rivalries.

3. Tauntaun Sleeping Bag  If you don’t get why this is awesome, you should probably just stop reading my blog. Now. No, seriously. Go away.

In addition to it’s obvious awesomeness, you should read how it came to be, which makes it even MORE awesome.

4. Discontinued Playmobil Victorian Mansion .
Yes, I see that it’s $300 on eBay. But it has SCULLERY MAIDS! It has a weird creepy Victorian piano playing dude! I bet you anything there’s a chimney sweep in there somewhere. I’ve been trying to convince Kid she wants this. Alas, she wants the hospital.

WTF? Awesome.

5. The Human Hampster Ball  I’m not really sure how this can be safe. At all. It looks like soooo much fun.  I bet I could get one rolling pretty fast down my driveway.  

That’s all I’ve got for now. I’m sure I’ll have more later. Sorry for the weird image alignment.
Oh and of course, just because I gotta say it: This is not a sponsored post. No-one who makes any of this shit knows who I am. I just like it.