Stuff That Makes Me Bananas.

Just in time for Christmas, and partially because of Christmas, I have compiled a list of things that drive me insane.

Look, it's a banana. So annoying.

1. Mail. Why? WHY? MAIL? WHY? I hate mailing things, I hate getting mail, I hate going to the Post Office to get stuff and/or figure out why they aren’t delivering my mail. 99% of my mail is crap. Almost all of our bills are auto pay, I don’t want any credit cards, I loathe catalogs. I do subscribe to a couple of magazines that pile up in their plastic sleeves for three or four months before I read them, but that’s it. I do not like to send mail. It’s expensive. I don’t even know how much anymore because the other day I was forced to buy some stamps and they gave me something called “Forever Stamps” with no price on them. What does that mean? I e-mail everything. I e-mail my invoices, I pay my bills by e-mail, I e-mail birthday greetings. I’m sorry mail, but I know why you guys are in the hole by about a zillion dollars.

2. Checks. I do not want to have to write checks EVER. I used to hate getting checks, but after I started using a new bank where I can just take a picture of a check with my phone and it’s deposited I realized I just hate going to the bank. Writing checks is a whole other story. First, I have to find my checkbook, then I have to find a pen, then I have to write it down and do math. See how you’re bored right now? I’m sorry stores, I know you get charged fees when I use a card, but that’s a whole other blog.

Recently, I got my oil tank filled up, and the woman from the company said, “OK, can you give the driver a check?”

I said, “Don’t you have my card on file?”

“Yes, but we’ll give you $10 if you pay by check.”

“SIGGGGGGGHHHHHH. FINE”

See, they want me to use a check so they don’t get the fee. Which I totally get. But, it doesn’t make it any less annoying.

3. Places that don’t have websites. Listen to me. If you do not have a website, I’m probably not going to be able to find you/call you/figure out your hours. At the very, very least get your establishment on Facebook, though you should have at least a static page with your hours and phone number attached to that. It’s easy. It’s 2011. I don’t want to hear any excuses. How am I supposed to find out about you? Look up your number and call you? See, no. I’m already annoyed and bored. I don’t want to call you to find your numbers or location. I don’t have time for that and also:

4. The phone. OK, I like talking to my friends on the phone, wait not really. I do sometimes. Usually I talk to my friends via IM. I like that much better. Anyhow,  I do not like talking to anyone else on the phone. That includes clients, businesses, people looking for the girl who used to have my number, etc. I also do not like it when people insist on talking on the phone or meeting me in person rather than via email. It is so much less efficient.I like being able to respond in a well thought out manner and have a record of correspondence. I dislike having to call any sort of customer service the most. I’m sure you all do, this is not unique to me.

5. Companies that e-mail me about their great sales and savings EVERY DAY. If you mail me every single day saying: SALE TODAY ONLY, or BIGGEST DISCOUNT EVER (and it’s a standard 10% off every single day) I am going to stop reading your e-mails pronto. Also, I am going to have anxiety about shopping from you. Recently, I needed to buy a new washer and I watched one store’s price on the same washer fluctuate up and down as much as $200 from day to day over the course of 3 weeks. It didn’t make me super confident that I was getting the best deal, however I was super confident that if I had to go to the laundromat one more time, I would become a danger to myself and others.

Contrast that with the few places I subscribe to that only have sales a couple times a year. I call these, “True Sales” and you can believe I shop the hell out of them.

There you have it. There’s a lot more that makes me bananas, but this is the top 5 today. What makes you bananas?

 

1 thought on “Stuff That Makes Me Bananas.

  1. Tidewater Telecom drives me bananas because they do not have auto pay!!! WTF? 🙂

    But I won’t get started on people who use apostrophes inappropriately . . .

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