Don’t Read This If You Get Seizures

My husband’s company rents an old house that has been converted (sort of) into offices. It’s a pretty cool place, except for the HORRIFIC wallpaper. Each room is more horrible than the last.  The best part is, the current owner of the place actually made these monstrous choices. I know this because when Mike was checking it out, he was joking with a co-worker and said something like “Man, I don’t know if I can stand this wallpaper.”
      And the landlady/owner turned around and said, “What do you mean? I just had all of this done!” Oopsie. This place is also for sale for wayyyy too much money. Anyhow, I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

First we have the kitchen wallpaper. Underneath it is the linoleum that it’s paired with. Lovely, eh? 

Wallpaper in Mike’s office. If you think the swatches are bad, just envision this covering an entire room.

This is in a spare room, the room also features framed botanical prints. Oh I should also mention that each room also has “matching” curtains.

I think this is my personal favorite. The picture doesn’t do it justice, but the gold pattern is kind of shimmery. The room that it covers is HUGE, there are two guys working in there. I guess she was going for kind of a renaissance theme because check out the painting that she has over the mantel.

Awesome, right?



The next few are from upstairs in what would be bedrooms, and the spare bathroom.

This is from the downstairs bathroom. EVERYTHING in the room has this print. Curtains, trashcan, tissue box cover thing…..

This is from a little entryway room alcove area. I’m not sure if you can see the detail but there are little cows and ducks and whatnot.

Ok, this is not wallpaper. This is allegedly mouse pee. Wait, what? Ok here’s the story. So Mike noticed these stains on the ceiling and called the landlord because he thought the roof was leaking. She came over and was all, “oh no, that’s not a leak, that’s just mouse pee”.

And he was all, “Oh, OK. Wait, What?” Then about a month later it smelled REALLY bad in this room (which is the first room you walk into when you come into the house) so he called her again and she came over with some handyman type guy and she said “Oh, it’s probably just a dead mouse, don’t worry about it.” But this was months ago and it still smells in there. So, so bad. Keep in mind SHE’S TRYING TO SELL THIS HOUSE.  Can you imagine going to look at a house and the first thing you smell is dead body and then you look up, inquire about the leaky roof and someone tries to reassure you by telling you it’s cool because it’s “just mouse pee”? Yeah. Don’t worry, no one has to work in this room. Only walk through it when entering or leaving the building. Anyway, I’m convinced it’s a dead body. 

4 thoughts on “Don’t Read This If You Get Seizures

  1. Kate, I think that some of this wallpaper on it's own in small doses wouldn't be quite so horrific. It's very jarring to have the crazy patterns change from room to room.

  2. okay, I promised a friend I would read and critique chapter 1 of the book she's writing but I'm here looking at wallpaper pictures.

    why? because you are awesome. also, I hate giving criticism. but mostly the first one, I swear.

  3. TCG, You're a sweetie pie. Also, I understand about the procrastination. There's a direct correlation between how much blogging I do and how much stuff I have to do in the "real world", as in the more real stuff I have to do the more I say, "fuck it" and blog and tweet all day.

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