Dispatch from Damariscotta: Last night, while on my evening constitutional, I witnessed a confounding scene at the Baptist Church intersection on Main St. One of the invading tourists decided that, after starting to turn onto the Bristol Rd from Main St, they did not, in fact, want to go to Bristol. Perhaps they forgot something at Hannaford, perhaps they realized it wasn’t the road to Boothbay, we shall never know. As I watched from the grassy knoll in front of the Chapman Hall House, the irate interloper turned onto the Bristol Rd, threw their car into reverse, and proceeded to bang a U-turn in the middle of the intersection. Which, mind you, is still classified as one of the most dangerous intersections in Maine. After narrowly missing oncoming traffic in two lanes, and nearly backing into the car behind them that had also turned onto Bristol Rd, the maniac in the Mercedes sped off down Rt.1 amid a flurry of honking horns and extended middle fingers. I proceeded on my walk and wondered if the Damariscotta police department would be interested in deputizing me so that I may hand out tickets for extreme and dangerous stupidity.