Category Archives: 2012 Unreasonable Goals

Good Morning, Professor.

It’s time to put no money where my mouth is! I never finished college. I talk about going back and yet, never get around to it. There are a lot of reasons. Anyhow, that’s not what this post is about. This post is about me doing one of the freeee classes from MIT’s open course ware (they call it OCW, and so will I). Basically, MIT and a bunch of other colleges have put entire classes online and people can take them for free, at their leisure. Obviously there is no credit. Obviously there is no professor. Obviously it’s all up to me.

Why do you guys care about this? Because I’m going to post all my coursework here. As you may have guessed I am interested in writing intensive courses. And, as I mentioned before I have no one to pass them to. So, I’m going to put them here and y’all can grade me if you want. I might even put a little poll thing on the side for easy grading.

Jesus Christ, isn’t that kind of grade crazy? Aren’t you a little wacko? Thanks for asking! Yes, on both accounts. I like feedback, and if you have been reading this blog for long at all, you also know I’m a bit crackers. Maybe a lot crackers. Maybe more like a box of oyster crackers (because they are small and you can fit a lot in the box).

The first class I’m going to embark on is this: Writing on Contemporary Issues: Food for Thought: Writing and Reading about the Cultures of Food. You can check out the details, assignments etc. at the link. I have a number of essays I will be writing AND an oral presentation, sooo I guess I will podcast it up. Scary. Necessary.

Anyhow, that’s what I’m up to. You will either find it super interesting or boring as hell. I care not.

In closing, please enjoy this video of Hot For Teacher by Van Halen circa 1984. It is both degrading to woman and not pertinent at all to this post.


Goals 2012, The Shocking Truth

Yay! I figure out how to post a spreadsheet. You can find all of my goals for this year under the tab up there labeled…you guessed it…2012 Unreasonable Goals. Or you can just click that link if you’re super lazy.

I’m way too bored with this goal setting thing already to go through each one and explain it. Hence the spreadsheet. Also? Spreadsheets are cool. Also? It updates automagically when I enter in new data on my end for easier stalking on your part.  Did you check it out yet? Go check it out.

Back? Pretty boring right? Oh wait. Did you see #23? Were you shocked? Did you not check out my goals? Fine. I’ll just tell you what it is. It’s this: Quit Smoking. I KNOW. I KNOW. It’s fucking gross. Wait, haven’t you heard me nag my husband incessantly to quit smoking? What a hypocrite I am! Didn’t I do a blog post about this very thing a few years ago? I did! So, what’s my problem? I don’t know.

Or anywhere, because it's nasty.

For years my line has been: Well, I don’t really smoke. I can go for days and days and even months without smoking, but then I end up picking it up again here and there. Maybe one or two a week. A pack lasts me around a month. That’s not so bad, right? Ugh, yes it is. It’s totally gross and irresponsible. Plus, it does not help me in my sanctimonious nagging. For the record, Kid doesn’t see me smoke. I always hide under the cover of darkness. I guess that’s something.

Though these are unreasonable goals, I am not under the illusion that I am not going to smoke any cigarettes this year. Don’t roll your eyes at me. I’m a damn addict. Cut me some slack. What I will do is keep track of how many smokes I have all year. Even partial cigs. What I want to do is keep it under 12. For the year. I will consider that a success. If I don’t make it you can all rain judgement and insults down upon me next year. Sound fun? Nothing is more motivating than public humiliation.

You’ll see on the graph that I entered the amount for Quit Smoking at -12. Ideally, I’d like to smoke less than that. And you all should know, I haven’t had a cigarette since December 30th. So, that’s pretty awesome. Though, like I said, I can go for months. I’m a strange, strange bird.

We’ll talk about more of my goals tomorrow. I need to go spend the day hanging my head in shame.